Burn
by Kailey Hamilton
Summary: "Marlene would always be the woman Sirius wanted to burn with, if the world turned to ashes." Sirius/Marlene UST. One-shot for Jinny.


_Notes:__ Written for Camp Potter - First Aid Week 1 (Prompts: rejection, storm, ashes) and more importantly, for __**Jinny (soccerisawesome19) **__for the Gift-Giving Extravaganza._

_**Jinny: **__I gotta be honest and say that I don't even ship these two (or any of the pairings you asked, except James/Lily, which I don't enjoy writing at all) but I felt that Blackinnon was overdue. So this happened. This was written in under two hours and came to me effortlessly, so I hope it reads just as smoothly! :)_

_Thanks to my perma-beta **Jess (autumn midnights)** as always!_

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**Burn**

_Will you come with me, my duelling mate?_

Marlene didn't have to ask. Sirius would go to the end of the world for her.

Fortunately, there weren't Death Eaters in the end of the world. So this time, he only had to go with her to spy on Macnair and his family at their home, the Holly Hill Villa. Dumbledore had suspected the Death Eaters would have a meeting there, but it seemed like it was a false alarm. So they were both just silently staring at the old home, waiting for their time to leave.

"Holly Hill is such a stupid name for such a glorious villa." Marlene broke the silence with a murmur. She caught Sirius's questioning gaze and quickly turned around. "What? I'm bored, and this place is pretty."

"I'm with you, though," he said, smiling. "They missed the opportunity to call this place Macnair's Lair."

She laughed loudly and, as he gestured with his hand for her to lower her voice, she promptly covered her mouth.

"Hush, Sirius," she said. "You're going to blow our cover."

"Me? _You _are the noisy one." But the smile couldn't be wiped off of his face, for he was delighted to make her laugh. "Come on, admit it. Macnair's Lair would be a cool name."

"Eh, I'm not impressed. It's better than Holly Hill Villa, but it kind of sounds like the name of a pub."

_'Speaking of pubs...' _he wanted to say, and he would've said it, had Marlene been a different girl. But he didn't speak the words, because asking her out seemed outrageous.

_Who would've thought that asking her out would terrify me so?_

Rejection had never bothered him - there were other fish in the sea, after all. But for the first time in his life, it seemed like there weren't. Among so many women, there wasn't another like Marlene. There wasn't another that Sirius could come so close to loving.

Ironically enough, there wasn't another that Sirius could come so close to losing.

_I should ask her out, _he thought. _I can't let her go, before she slips away._

He had come so close to losing her many times, after all, because she volunteered for as many missions as she could and had little regard for personal safety. He had come to accept the fact that Marlene, so bold and so reckless, wasn't one to stay safe.

That was why he volunteered to go with her time and time again, and he knew it could be suspicious if it wasn't because they made a stupendous team.

_Maybe I won't tell her. I'm just her duelling partner_, he reasoned. _And she's older than me. She thinks I'm just a boy. _

It was unfair. She thought he was a boy, maybe, but she was such a woman! There were praises to be sung about the brave, the strong, the willful, and the virtuous - and they were all verses that spoke about Marlene at length. Marlene was the woman who stood proud when everyone else bowed. Marlene was the woman who fought when everyone else cowered.

And for that - well. He never thought of her as _pretty_ -she wasn't Lily Evans-pretty, the kind of pretty that turns heads- but he certainly thought she was beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world.

The only beautiful woman in the world, for all he cared.

And there he was, so willing to love her, but so unprepared.

"Why so serious, Sirius?" Marlene inquired when it became obvious there weren't going to be any more remarks about badly-named villas. And Sirius had heard the pun a million times, but coming from Marlene, it didn't fail to amuse him.

"I'm just... tired, I guess. Long, boring night."

"Tell me about it. I thought we were going to see some action. That's why I volunteered."

"You're going to get yoursef killed." That preoccupation was one he could allow himself to voice.

"For a worthy cause."

"Aren't there causes worth living for, though?" Sirius insisted. "You'll be of no use to anyone once you're dead."

"Calm down, will you? We'll be fine." But her tone wasn't calm at all, which made Sirius realize that he was scaring her. So he tried to be funny instead.

"At this pace, though, we're both going to die of boredom."

"Oh come on, Sirius. I hope you're not calling me boring. I'm not such a bad companion, am I?"

"Macnair's Lair is boring. You, on the other hand, are the very best."

"Well, I'm glad we've settled that." She smiled, and a long pause preceded her next words. "There's no one else I'd rather be bored with."

His heart sped up. Sirius wasn't oblivious - he knew that to be a sign he could interpret. And he wanted to sing her all the praises; he wanted to kiss her to appease the raging storm within himself. Even if he was wrong.

But looking into her expecting eyes, Sirius realized it would never happen.

Even if Marlene was ready to love him, he wasn't. And he had a feeling she would escape his grasp before he could close his fist, because of her commitment to the cause and utter lack of self-preservation. Sirius wanted to do and say so many things, but he also wanted to stay free and alive. So he bit his lip and turned his gaze away, giving her up once and for all.

True, Marlene would always be the woman Sirius wanted to burn with, if the world turned to ashes.

But Sirius wasn't ready to burn.


End file.
